Lord, how the hours hang upon you when you discover that your job is less essential than you thought. Your colleagues you thought so tedious at least entertained you, it seems. Left to your own devices the old ennui as the French say has got you feeling all Camus and Sartre.
Discover the joy that throwing off the yoke of productivity can give you. Refuse to knuckle down to pointless tasks, glitchy video conferences and the other indignities of a time that should be a gift for reflection and idleness.
“It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Girl in Blue
I know I’d certainly prefer a quiet corner with a book. HOW TO BE DULL makes an excellent present for those hard-to-please relations. It’s economical for one thing. And it will amuse you: imagine Uncle Cedric’s face when he opens the wrapper to find you have decided he needs to learn to be dull. He may think, ‘Gosh, I must be such a fine raconteur that my relation thinks I ought to take it down a notch.’ Or perhaps he may wonder if you are suggesting he already has some expertise in that area. He may be perplexed as to the reason for the gift. If so, he will probably keep his thoughts to himself which would help everyone.
Are you looking at the holidays with a jaundiced eye? Not looking forward to discussions about that vote? Are there relatives you’d rather gnaw an arm off than speak to for any length of time?
Be dull. By which of course I mean buy my book and become an expert in the art of Dullness. You can master the skill in a trice. Soon you’ll be the one people seek to avoid! Then you can enjoy reading in pleasant solitude with a nice beverage by your side.
A lovely review from the .com side of Amazon (most of the reviews so far have been from the UK). And people are always trying to tell me Americans don’t understand irony. I think now more than ever the Yanks would enjoy a little dullness.
Damn this book for making me spend a lunch time learning and bob and wheel poetry only to learn that I didn’t understand strophes. I think this book was quite possibly the single largest piece of sarcasm outside the comments section of my dissertation. A chapter later I found myself on a website reading Prick Of Conscience (way too old for copyright worries and always will be unless Disney pay more money than exists).
A tedious and dull thing I learned in this book was that when the author used the word osculating in reference to Prick I thought it was a joke to do with curves and tangents. It turned out to be much simpler and meant kissing. Oh how we laughed at the club about that. Perhaps the dullest and most frustrating thing about this book is the constant mention of the author’s agent. I know it was deliberate to…
The tome is now available in that newfangled form, an “Electronic Book” or as they foppishly say, ebook.
As I understand it it works much like television for the aim enormous cameras at the original book and turn it into tiny dots which are then shot at your computer device until it fills up with the whole book. Or perhaps I got confused whilst Margery was explaining the process to me. If you understand this mad gibberish, by all means get yourself an ebook.